The backbone of cyberspace

It was super insensitive to say what you said.

Have you never heard the expression “don’t speak ill of the dead?”It’s been a few weeks since we spoke, I just can’t bring myself to call.

I know your health is failing but your attitude has me AWOL.

It’s a problem for me that you still fail to see;

That bitterness has now become your personality.

My skin is not thick enough to let that shit ride.

My humanity and your heartlessness are about to collide.

The first time ever I’ve had to put you in your place.

But then again not really because instead of saying it to you, I’ve opted for cyberspace.

Trae

Perhaps I missed the opportunity to call you mine…

Because I was sitting on thick thighs and you were just too damn fine.

Above my caliber, or out of my league I was quick to say.

But you took the time to get to know me anyway.

Though that should have been enough for me to give you a chance;

I couldn’t help but think, onto the next girl you’d glance.

When I should have enjoyed you, I questioned you instead.

“How is he interested in me?” always running through my head.

So I kept you at bay, though you continued to try.

Fear of rejection wouldn’t allow me to call you my guy.

I’d claim it was bad timing or you were moving too fast.

When truth be told, I’ve been tainted by my past.

Past relationships, past regrets, all led me to this place.

Of not ever truly being comforted by the warmth of your embrace.

My mother likes you. My daughter too… but I still make you plead your case,

Of why I should let my guard down and allow you into my sacred place.

I loath my insecurities, like a bad habit I just can’t shake.

Never giving you my heart; my greatest mistake.

Once

Once I believed in love.

It broke my spirit though.

Now I’m happily lonely,

Never allowing my feelings to show.

Ever so often a few tears may fall.

I wipe them away without thought.

Pain never looked good on anyone, right?

Another lesson love taught.

I may be alone forever,

As depressing as that now seems.

Though once I believed in a love

Beyond any of my wildest dreams.

Label Me Not

Label me not, for I am much more than anyone expected.
The darker hue of color I cast left the beauty within undetected.
Label me not, for I am not the product of my environment that you claim to know.
But rather a woman who despite her upbringing, continues to thrive and grow.
Label me not, for my parents mistakes should bare no reflection on me.
But people like you will continue to judge and label that which they cannot see.
Label me not, for the depths of my greatness can only be defined by my Creator.
And I will continue to do my part in reserving the right not to label you a hater.

She’s Broken

She’s broken.

Torn between two things she loves; husband and career.

But what is really feeding her need for success?

Oversimplified; the baby she could never have.

Combine that with kicking breast cancers ass twice in one life and yes, you can clearly see she’s broken.

Strong, reverent, determined and kind

but that only paints half the picture.

At home, the few moments shared with her husband,

she’s not present

and he takes notice.

Day after day the same routine until hope enters her minds sight; adoption.

The husband, armed with the knowledge that she’s already

overworked and non-present,

doesn’t see the point (her point) and she’s defeated once more

so returns to the life she knows,

still overworked and non-present.

The husband again takes notice,

seeing his place in her heart continue to dissipate.

She has no fight left,

she gives in on every occasion she has to truly voice her wants and needs,

sighting “comprise”,

yet the only compromise she’s truly making is within herself.

She wants a family, still.

Her husband wants only his wife.

What could the future possibly hold for a love grown 10+ years

between the two that’s reached such a critical crossroads?

She’s broken

and he holds the fix,

if only he were wise enough to know it.

Morning, Midday & Night

If you ever laid your hands on me, it would be with the sweetest touch.

And any blow dealt to my heart would be from loving you so much.

The weight of your words would erase any pain still harbored from my past.

You’d place a chokehold on any doubt I’d even dare to cast.

Tears of joy ever-present from the moment our paths would collide.

My every morning, midday and night, just happy to be by your side.